This has honestly been the worst week in such a long time. Everything that could be going wrong, other than someone I care about dying, has happened. And I used to think I was so strong that I could handle anything. This week has completely shattered that perception I’ve always had of myself. I used to think I could handle any of the crap life throws my way because of the fact that I handled the death of a parent at 15 and all that. Whatever. Clearly I’m not that strong.
It seems like when people are young they have this idea that they’re invincible and nothing can hurt them. Adults always say teenagers think they’re indestructable. Reckless driving wont kill them. Drinking wont get them in trouble. Blowing off school wont have consequences. Getting caught up in the wrong crowd won’t have negative effects. But as I get older I see that all this stuff has way more significance that teenagers think. All of it effects the future and that idea scares me to death. The future is rather intimidating. This huge unknown, all the expectations and possibilities out there just waiting to be fulfilled or shattered.
I don’t even know what the hell I’m saying. There’s no point or overall message to this garbage. I’m just losing my mind and having a mental breakdown and I have nothing else to do and nowhere else to put my thoughts. I give up.
